music time: Spirit & Flight part 2…
Posted in nature, pia's music, pia's photos, piano May 14th, 2014 by pia

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So I’ve been playing a series of notes on the piano over and over again since I shared my last composition with you, Spirit & Flight.  I didn’t think it was ready to be recorded as I hadn’t really been able to move it, shift it, expand it. I finally let go of thinking I needed to make it into something it wasn’t, yet continued to play it over and over again this past month because there was something in it that spoke to me…

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…something in it that I needed to hear. Then last Saturday morning, while Romain took Laly to the park, I sat down at the piano, pressed record, and played.

This is my rawest, published piece yet, so full of little “oh I could have played that better”, “hmm that’s not quite right” notes  – however it captured how I was feeling so completely that I felt it was worth sharing with you…

 

 

If you listen carefully, you will hear me take a deep breath towards the end of the first part of the piece. Then I play on, higher, quieter…

 

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After I played, I understood what it was that I needed to hear: my anger. I have always pushed it away, bottled it up, kept it locked deep inside. But I’m learning that by doing so it doesn’t go away, it just grows then screams out in pain in various parts of my body. When I sat down to play this time, I felt it well up in me, echoing the frustrating morning I’d had with my little warrior girl Laly, so defiant, not afraid to protest or go against her mother. She’s not like me and when I’m not in awareness, I can hear my quiet, bottled up voice within screaming out “I don’t understand you, why aren’t you like me! Why can’t you listen to me!”.  Of course I don’t want her to be like me, I just want her to do as I say.

So this piece, Spirit & Flight Part 2, is a storytelling of my battle with motherhood, my struggle to adapt, to surrender to how I was mothered and how I mother and want to mother.

In the second part of the piece (at 2 minutes 40 sec), I relinquish.

These photos are from our few days in Byron last month. “Spirit” and “Flight” are two words that resonate with my time there, and the energy of our little Laly.

Thanks for listening again dear friends, I hope you enjoy this piece. Don’t forget you can download all my pieces to listen on your music devices for free.

With Love,

Pia x

 

Related Posts :
Spirit & Flight...
...and so I play...
The Changing...
All this, yes.
bird by bird...


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10 Comments

  1. mel @ loved handmade says

    its really beautiful pia, a wonderful expression, you’re very clever x

    May 14th, 2014 | #

  2. jan says

    For me I heard the sound of the month of May – dramatic rains and then the soft acceptance of what is. Motherhood… I know your struggle. Remember to breath.

    May 14th, 2014 | #

  3. pia says

    Oh I love that description, thank you jan

    May 14th, 2014 | #

  4. pia says

    Thanks Mel x

    May 14th, 2014 | #

  5. Kate says

    I just love how raw and true and expressive you are in everything you do. Thank you, you are a gem x

    May 15th, 2014 | #

  6. Clair says

    Wow- you are so amazingly talented. I have read your blog for years and enjoyed it immensely but the last three posts are so heartfelt and vulnerable and its a good thing! Motherhood is such a process of letting go and enjoying the imperfectly perfect of everyday with little ones!! Its something I struggle with at times but when I am at my best (well rested) its such a joy. I think of motherhood as a process of letting go and becoming soft- softening into gentleness not only with kids, but with yourself- kinder, gentler, softer, slower. There is such strength in finding softness and letting go. Its a journey that’s a massi

    May 15th, 2014 | #

  7. Clair says

    I had written a long response about how I love your vulnerability and openness about being a mama in the last 3 posts but then my 13 month old daughter (our inhouse IT expert) came along and restarted my laptop and somehow turned off the wireless connection for me! For me motherhood is a journey into releasing preconceived notions and enjoying the imperfect, messiness, raucousness of life. I’ve also found it a tricky journey but so heart wideningly good when the groove is found- softening, being kind, gentle and surrendering not only to your children and other people but mostly to yourself in your rawest. I found ‘Toddler Tactics’ to be immensely helpful in finding ways to work with the incredibleness of toddlerdom too. Good luck Pia- all mamas need luck, an inhouse IT expert and a good nights sleep. x

    May 15th, 2014 | #

  8. chris says

    love your honesty Pia you have such a way of expressing just whats in our hearts xxx

    May 16th, 2014 | #

  9. Jessica Blair says

    Hello, Pia. I’ve greatly admired your work and the way you see life for a while now. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability with your struggles with mamahood. While I don’t wish anyone struggles in life it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the battle of reconciling the way I was raised as I forge my own path of teaching and nurturing my daughter. You are an encouragement♡ Keep on, love. Your words pay tribute to the fact that you are a good mama and love your little girl very much. You’re doing a good job :)

    May 23rd, 2014 | #

  10. paula says

    i love your piano style. i love reading about how you are feeling anger and seeing your daughter expressing herself freely– I can only imagine this but it sounds so true and is helpful for me to read. it’s great you can express yourself with the piano and then share it with us. the blog post in conjunction with the music is beautiful and effective–very very evocative. I have a feeling that you sharing this music is really important and powerful. I look forward with what you continue to share.

    May 23rd, 2014 | #


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